A Taste, Look, and Feel of Toronto, Canada

spooky yet gorgeous skies around Lake Ontario at sunset

The beaches of Lake Ontario lap up its ferocious waves on this windy evening as I stand on her shores gazing up at the setting sky. Although the most polluted of the Great Lakes, it still contains a number of water enthusiasts; tonight that number is "one." I strip and dive in, but am quickly ejected by the frigid waters. I dress and retreat back up the hill feeling slightly defeated.

Toronto street car

I hop in a street car, its civic purpose to slow Queen Street traffic to the speed of an octogenarian jogger taking a coffee break.

As we continue west, large green parks start popping into view; people toss frisbees back and forth, as some set picnic baskets atop their large beach towels, while others meditatively practice tai-chi, breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly until they literally start flying through the air, upended by a linebacker of a dog chasing a squirrel through their circle.

Noting the lush landscapes combined with substantial summer humidity my wife declares Toronto, "The ideal place to grow a garden;" ... failing to factor in the snow which blankets the Great White North during its harsh winters.
There's a for sale sign in front of an old, three story red brick house near the downtown, which will undoubtably sell for a pretty penny. Toronto real estate is in bubble territory, bid up by Chinese money anxious to park itself in safer lands. Escalating rents, high grocery prices, and an Ontario sales tax of 13% on top of all other purchases apply substantial pressure to your finances. After 4 months of living here, my wallet is as flat as a penny left on the rail road tracks.

Toronto street scene, late January

Walking between the downtown sky-scrapers, it's notable how the pedestrians seem to represent every country on earth, and during winter months Antarctic penguins round out the continents; no one in this ethnic melting pot gives them so much as a second glance.

downtown Toronto

Presenting our e-tickets, we enter Scotiabank Arena  to watch the "hockey" (whatever that is) game. Molson beer flows in greater and greater volumes through the stands, until finally, during the 2nd period intermission, the generally milquetoast and polite Canucks start flapping their mouths, bragging about:

• Canada's greatest invention and contribution to the world- the zamboni
• how they have the worst traffic on the planet. 

Canadians are funny, ey? Toronto moves like the Indy 500 compared to most large cities around the globe. Even on a Friday night, downtown, with several events going on, traffic here still moves faster than a Christmas morning in Los Angeles. (provided you don't find yourself behind the aforementioned Queen Street cable car) 

But through and through Toronto is an eminently livable city, with its friendly people, large green spaces, plethora of restaurants, and the feeling that no matter who you are or where you are from, you're likely to find a little niche for yourself here. 

The only dilemma I have is whether I should inform my newfound Canadian friends that the zamboni was, in fact, invented in Southern California. .... 

Nah, I just don't have the heart. Let them have it. The game just started again and my amigos are decrying a penalty against the Leafs. When I join in and deride the call, one of them offers me a beer. I love these hosers.
So much so I married one.

Do you see one Hoser or two? 

Stunning Whistler Valley and Her Gorgeous Scenery

Whistler Valley, British Columbia. I have been many places, and few are as stunningly beautiful. For days I rode my bicycle around the valley, went on hikes (some quite strenuous,) swam across mountain lakes, sat for hours by falls and babbling brooks, and tracked down bears til I finally ran into a two year old cub by Fitzsimmons Creek- I was very excited.  

Lost Lake- not as big as it looks, I swam across

When I am in nature, the silence permeates my soul and mind, so I'm just going to pipe down, and let you look through the photos and videos here.

view from the condo I stayed in

Woodpeckers going at it- surprisingly large birds

surrounding mountains + glaciers

Whistler, Canada highlights. Enjoy. 

a boulder splits the falls

arduous hike to Rainbow Lake finally yields results- about 5 miles uphill

exploring Rainbow Lake late in the evening, sole person there

Harmony Lake- elevation 6,000 feet

lush and green and beautiful

natural bridge over the creek- deep in the woods

color in the forest

High in the mountains on the way to Rainbow Lake

I sat by this stream for hours on multiple occasions

Black bear

 if you go to Whistler, you're going for the nature. Enjoy.

follow for wintery photos of Red Mountain, BC

A Taste and Feel of Vancouver, Canada

Vancouver, public transport amazing. Within the city, car unneeded. I ride my bicycle everywhere, taking in the great summer weather.

guitar circle on "cold wet sand"

There's an undeniably pleasant, hippy feel around town, from the marijuana dispensaries, the yoga studios on every corner of the Kitsilano area, to the guitar circles on the "beach"- a term I use generously, really more appropro would be: "cold wet sand."

Near downtown is Stanley Park- 1,000 acres of land devoted to recreation for Vancouverites, you can bike around the lush green area in about an hour, but do stop and partake in some activity, whether it be photographing geese, doing pull-ups on rec equipment, tossing a frisbee, or toppling a totem pole. 

Lord Stanley welcomes to you his park, trees + totem poles

Canada's entire population is 10 percent smaller than the state of California, but spread out over an area substantially larger than the entire United States, which is, how to say, ample room.
Given that non-summer temperatures approach zero Kelvin, Canadians are highly incentivized to take advantage of the precious little time it is, in fact, legal to go outside.
They walk their dogs, bike, swim, paddle board, hike, and run, all government mandated training regimens designed to keep their citizens fit and fast so they can run from wolves (and sometimes bears) during the winter.  

alternate Canadian flag

Seriously though, if your goal was to come to Vancouver and watch obese people waddle around town, you've got "slim-pickings" ... mainly because the wolves got 'em first.
This level of fitness is directly correlated to the nearly 40% lower healthcare bill Canada spends per person versus their bloated cousins south of the border, and indirectly explains why the wolf remains such a cherished national symbol.

Downtown as viewed from Stanley Park

Canada Place

Canada Place, a popular tourist attraction lies at the edge of downtown and the bay. The architecture is stupendous, and it's the heart of Canadian patriotism, as signs proudly exalt the country's contributions to the world-"Hockey."

Gastown, Vancouver

Gastown old timey-clock

Vancouver's compass- merely look towards the mountains across the bay and head in their direction.

When you reach base of the mountains you've arrived in North Vancouver, where endless hiking trails and mountain streams are surrounded by arrays of blackberry bushes, delicious summer fruit on their branches making it impossible to starve. 

Vancouver's compass- the mountains of North Vancouver

On the whole, Vancouver is a stunning city, well worth the visit during the summer. Get a bike and ride it far and wide, go on some hikes, have a beer at a local bar. You'd be hard pressed not to enjoy this beautiful and diverse town. Just make sure to venture indoors the moment you hear howling. 

the sun sets over Vancouver Bay

Biking Adventures and Criminals in Vancouver, Canaduh

I quickly discover that you really don’t need a car to get around Vancouver. I walk to the bicycle store; price of a rental- $45 a day.

“Plus a credit card on file in case it gets stolen,” the salesman quips.

“I can rent a car for that much,” I retort, “Don’t you have anything cheaper?”

“We have an old clunker the boss took to get some coffee ... speak of the devil,” a cool looking hipster pulls in on an old red mountain bike.

“What do you think that bike is worth?”

“Not much,” replies the salesman, waving it off.

I assess the situation, then introduce myself to the boss.
“I’m going to be here for a few days, and I simply cannot afford to rent a bike from you guys every day, and I think you might want to get rid of the old bike you were just riding. Can we work a deal?”

The boss seems surprised, but not unwilling.

“How much were you thinking?”

“Well, your salesman said it wasn’t worth much, it looks a little worn. How about $50?”

The boss considers, examines the bike. “The gears all work, Reddy here is in decent shape,” he coaxes.

“Yeah, but your guy said it wasn’t worth much, however I will need a lock as well, and I’ll pay you cash.”

“Yeah, you definitely need a lock here in Vancouver,” he states nodding. “Allright, you got yourself a deal.”

We shake hands, I’m pleasantly surprised it came so cheap.

Downtown Vancouver- the flag of Canaduh

“That was some good negotiating,” remarks the employee manning the register. … A little luck mixed in honestly. I'd have paid more.

They have some steel and chrome locks, but paying as much for the lock as the bike itself, a bicycle I’ll have to give up in a week or so, doesn’t sit right with me. Mr. Negotiator gets the cheapest combination lock chain they have ($18).

Freed from walking, I seemingly fly around the city, down to the beach, over the bridges, through downtown, up the hills. I feel a sense of freedom as the wind blows my hair back, and although it’s nowhere near the best bike in the world, Reddy's 7 gears do me just fine.

One evening I’m headed home, and at the stop light before the bridge, I overhear a girl speaking with her sister about “letting people in.” Her sister bikes away, and our light turns green.

“You’re an AirBnb host?” I ask, half stating it, even though the word never came up.

“I am,” she replies, slightly surprised.

Vancouver Harbor

Hard to reach Rainbow Lake in Whistler

We speed off on our bikes, side by side, chatting, getting to know each each other, as we glide over the ocean beneath us. By the time we cross, we’ve agreed to have a beer.

We lock up our bikes, which seems at the top of the Ten Commandments for Vancouverites, and enjoy each other’s company for the next hour, before bidding each other adieu.

After 5 days in Vancouver, I take Reddy up to Whistler with me, riding her all around the stunning valley, exploring as much as possible over four days, easily eclipsing 100 miles on my trusty steed.

But my trip comes to a close. I hitch my bike on the Epic Rides trailer back to Vancouver.
I'm set to fly out several hours later. What to do with Reddy? If I just leave her out, she’ll undoubtedly be ganked by some criminal.

“Alexis, I have an idea for you. When I came to Vancouver, I wanted to rent a bike but they’re ridiculously expensive. I’m sure some of your guests would wish to rent one, why don’t I give you mine, and you rent it out to your guests for $20 a day. You’re doing them a service, and making extra money. We’ll split the earnings up to $500, after that the bike is yours.”

“Great idea!” she messages me back, “Lock it up under the staircase by my apartment and I'll be back later tonight.”

Hot damn! Not only did I get to use a bike for 9 days for $50 plus the lock, I’m going to end up making money on this deal, helping this girl out, and giving her guests a superior deal. Win-win-win, this is turning out absolutely brilliantly.

Bike to her place, lock Reddy up, and head to the airport, a smile on my face the whole way home.

I get off the plane, turn my phone on.

“Rich, I’m so embarrassed by my city, when I came home the bike was there. I came out two hours later, the chain was clipped and the bike was gone.”

Sorry Reddy! Shoulda invested in a better lock.

In the Midst of a Canadian Blizzard

Being from Los Angeles I think of snow as some mythical substance which may or may not have existed during the ice ages. I try not to venture outside if it drops below 65 Fahrenheit, and that would make Montreal an eternal prison for me with their Arctic circle weather. A few days before I arrived the temperature was to a bone chilling -32 C.

I had never experienced a real snow storm, just a few flurries while I lived in Prague. Here it falls like a confetti on New Year’s Eve, only colder. I stick out my tongue hoping a snowflake lands on my tongue; my thirst is instantly quenched by these heavenly waters.

I comment about the blizzard outside to some locals. They laugh. “Blizzard?” they question me, “Have you never been in snow before?”

I don’t answer the question. “If this isn’t a blizzard, what is it on a 1-10 snow scale?”

“About a 4,” they all reply in their French Canadian accents.

“A four?!!” I am truly shocked. It’s as if they all non-chalantly told me that they commute via spaceship to the Nebula Galaxy for work every day and the view of Planet Earth from space is a daily occurrence. I simply have no reference point for their descriptions of what a blizzard is really like.

I might not go outside, but I am becoming more worldly.

I Could Beat Up Vanessa Rousso (@VIP Poker Room in Montreal)

Montreal, Canada

Watching poker phenom Vanessa Rousso at the VIP Poker Room in Montreal, one of the world’s most famous female poker player, playing a low limit game, everyone having an amiable time. 

“Excuse me,” comes a voice from the rails, “is anyone here interested in playing a $10,000 sit and go?”

Anyone here? Really … anyone at the low limit table, ready to pony up ten grand. He could be speaking to but one person at the table, Vanessa.

It reminds of the local tough guy trying to pick a fight with Chuck Liddell, trying to prove himself. Stupidity of the ego. He might as well have said, “Hey Vanessa, I think I can beat you up.”

poker stars and Go Daddy girl, Vanessa Rousso

Welcome to France … I Mean-Canaduh

I get ready to board my Montreal bound plane from Philadephia when someone mentions we need a visa to get into Canada.

“As a citizen of the USA why should I need a visa?!" I ask with absolute outrage, "Canaduh is an American colony for Christ’s sake!”

Unsurprisingly, being the gospel of truth I am, this statement bears out; I swear to you, the U.S. has customs officials in our Canadian airports, and when the American immigration officer began getting a little overly inquisitive, I calmed his fears by proving my patriotism to our great land, telling him how much I enjoyed seeing our customs officials overseeing America Jr.

I walk into our colony only to discover I must have taken the wrong plane, I have landed in Europe; France to be specific. Everyone here speaks French, some people don’t understand English, or at least pretend not to, as per the French custom.

I momentarily think of boarding a plane to Canada proper, then decide to exit out into the frigid winter air, deciding to bear the 45% probability that I freeze to death upon exposure to the elements. The pre-requisite to settle these frigid lands must have been as follows, lots of heart, zero brains; that's how the country's name was derived; Canaduh.

(I guess I'm not the first person to come up with this theory)