Monday, December 29, 2008

NO SEX- In Bangkok?

No Sex - In Thailand

At least that’s what the sign said. Having just taken a chartered flight into Bangkok, the first thing I did was look for a Thai massage to help soothe my aches from the bumpy twenty four journey it took me to get here. And who wouldn't, an hour massage costs like $6. Try that on for size.
Stopping in to use the only rest room in the facility, I looked up at a hand written sign which stated emphatically, “No Sex.” It gave me pause for a moment, was this just another comical Asian translation for “Uni-sex,” or was this an explicit warning to their employees not have sex with their clients … at least not in the bathroom.
You actually have to question the meaning as prostitution is probably Bangkok's biggest industry. It's impossible to walk down the street without women throwing themselves upon you. Doing my best Barry Sanders imitation and dodging a thousand hookers on my way back to the hotel, I suddenly felt my ass being pinched. Aggressive aren’t we.
I turn around, some chubby girl states, “I like you.”
“No thanks,” I respond, turning to walk away.
She jumps in front of me. “Come on, why not.”
“I am tired, need sleep.”
“I don’t want money, she replies, just to have fun.”
This was a refrain I hadn’t heard much in Asia, “I don’t want money.” In America, you might hear this more commonly, as most people have their needs taken care of. In Asia, life is much harder, money more scarce; you have tailors accosting you, begging you to come into their shop, women on the street selling their bodies, vendors anxiously hawking pirated film DVD’s.
“You don’t want money?” I asked suspiciously.
“No, you handsome. You have nice eye.”
“Which one?” I asked jokingly, confusing the poor girl.
“Come on. We have fun. No big deal,” she cooed hopefully.

My mind raced furiously to "Yes Man" where my Lord JC (Jim Carrey) taught me to say "YES," to any opportunity, and who am I to defy JC. This was no strings attached, free sex with ... a chubster.

Has there ever been a man in history to turn down no strings attached sex. I’m not sure I’m the first, but certainly among the few. I felt bad though, here she was in Bangkok, where millions of men go each year with the express purpose of paying money for sex, and this poor girl couldn’t give it away.