"AYE! AY! What the fuck are you looking at?!" her boyfriend yells at me in Russian, understandable in any language.
"Allright dude, chill, it's Kazantip."
But he doesn't chill, he goes on yelling, posturing. I open my palms to the ground and press down, trying to to calm him, but this volcano keeps erupting, spewing fatal amounts of egoic possessiveness all around him.
I know if it was me I would have smiled, possibly said, "I'm glad you appreciate."
Now it's his fourth breath, and he's still erupting, screaming, threatening. The volcano is attracting attention over the loud music. I'm in awe of the massive size of this guy's frail ego. So this is where the Hitlers of the world come from. He finally pipes down, and I scoot a little away, trying to continue dancing, but I'm looking over my shoulder to see if he's going to come and try sucker punch me or something. It's time to go.
I walk down the beach, watching people dance, kiss, and enjoy themselves, yet I'm letting my thoughts and fears about some idiot take me out of the present moment. Is this really how I want to leave Kazantip?
I climb atop a dome shaped bar, enjoying the laser light show while I look out at the sea, the unceasing luminosity of the stars once again washing away my sense of self, my self-importance. I meditate there for a good half-hour, before a group of four joins me, toasting the night in celebration. They pour me a glass of champagne.
My thoughts have shifted from worried and disturbed, to silence, and the radiant love and appreciation of the moment that comes with it. Now I am ready to leave.
As I walk towards the exit I see Vera and Svetlana in the same bar as yesterday. Unhesitatingly I approach, smile, and say hello. I'm just there, present, enjoying their company.
Fifteen minutes pass, Vera looks at me, and speaks to Svetlana in English for my benefit. "He has American Eyes, doesn't he?"
"I do?" My eyes have been called green, shiny, cat, bright, but this is the first time I've heard a nationality ascribed to them. "What are American Eyes?"
"I'm in Kazantip, talking to two beautiful girls, on a warm night, under a starlit sky. How could there be any problems Now?"
"Are you always this happy?"
"I was being threatened a half hour ago, I wasn't all that happy ... but that was then, this is Now. Why should I let that affect me and poison my interactions with you?"
"Do you have such a great family or something?"
"My family is very small, I rarely see them."
"Maybe it's that you don't have to see your family that makes you so happy."
"No, I feel joy, cause I am here, now, speaking to you. It's been a process for me, and I'm not always like this, but what problems exist for you right now? Not in your mind. When you let all the problems that exist in your mind go, there's nothing left but the beauty of this moment."
"Eckhart Tolle," she says, quantifying it so the mind can understand, make sense of it, make it less threatening to the ego, "I'm reading that book in Russian."
"Great, and the power comes in being able to apply it. It's still work in progress for me."
|Vera, writer, Svetlana|
I think about my ex-girlfriend Maria, from the same heights of gorgeous, yet how much anguish still existed inside her. People would see her, and be struck by her outward appearance, yet never take the time to find out how she felt inside, and how her own ego would convince her that her past affected the now, and how often the present moment would be poisoned by her fears and judgements.
She's no longer with us, by her own hand. I think it about it and feel sadness well through me. I allow that to pass, breathe in deeply, look at Vera and Svetlana, and feel into the beauty all around me, the same that is inside.
They smile at me. When anyone allows themselves to be fully present, when our bodies and hearts vibrate with the same frequency of the Universal Love, people and beings around you unconsciously recognize this, and it help awakens, if only for a moment, the same vibratory frequency inside of them.
American Eyes are just a symptom of this energy. Describe it as you like, divine love, God, even Eyes Americano, those words are just a sign post pointing to the ultimate truth. The Buddhists have a saying, "The finger pointing to the moon, is not the moon."
One day mankind might reach the moon. I'm glad to be able to reach it, if only on occasion. Anybody that wishes to join, is more than welcome.