Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Great Jew Detector + Powder Tower (Prague, Czech Republic)

Prague is full of landmarks and beautiful buildings, from the opera house and concert hall called the Obecni Dum (beautiful) to Powder Tower (landmark.)
Powder Tower in Prague
The History of Powder Tower
Powder Tower, to give it its due, has a long and boring history. I'll only tell you that its name is derived from a period where it once held vast quantities of powder, making it either the world’s first distribution center for cocaine, or an armory, my guide wasn’t clear.
winding narrow staircase of Powder Tower
I always marvel how people in the 16th century were able to build such structures. Answer: not well … the spiral stone staircase is steeper than my last bungee jump only less safe. The staircase was so narrow, I could barely squeeze myself up, which would make it an ingenious design if, you feared an invasion by Weight Watchers Anonymous. but not too many soldiers of the 16th century were members, mainly because Weight Watchers had not yet been invented, which was too bad for the architect, seeing as he was burned at the stake.
Spectacular view of Prague from atop Powder Tower
views of Prague from Powder Tower
Taking a bike tour of Prague I learn that the main challenge throughout Czech history were wars over religion. Thankfully, as a trained historian, I can tell you this is singular to the Czech Republic and has absolutely no bearing on world politics today. Thank God!
Without getting into the whole Allah/Jesus debate, one of our stops was the Prague Philharmonic which during World War II was annexed by the Nazi Gestapo’s for use as their headquarters. Atop the building are sculptures of some the greatest composers of all time, including Felix Mendelssohn.
The Nazi Gestapos, being open minded, kind hearted people, even keel people that belong in power, deeply objected to having a Jewish composer glorified on their roof, and decided to destroy the statue. The challenge- they had no idea which composer was Mendelssohn.
So they sat there scratching their heads til one of them, whose nickname was Einstein, came up with a simple, elegant solution. “Jews have big noses,” he stated, a halo of brilliance appearing over his head.
Captivated by the profound genius of the statement, the Gestapos headed to building’s roof, armed with their Jew Detectors (more commonly called rulers.) After measuring the nose of each statue, the officers were grinning ear to ear having for having identified the scandalous, subhuman, Jewish figure of Mendelssohn, who, and I quote, had the biggest schnazz "by a longshot.”
So, with a collective effort for good, the Nazi’s toppled the statue from the roof, watched it fall 70 feet to it’s death, and congratulated each other on a job well done.
Two days later, Hitler arrived in Prague, and paid a visit to Gestapo Headquarters, and found, lying face first on the cobblestone street, a statue of his his favorite composer and noted anti-Semite, Richard Wagner.

Laser teeth whitening in Prague if you are in Praha, this is my friend's laser teeth whitening place!


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