Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hollywood Horror Film- Layover at the Moscow Airport

After my first and only stay in Russia, I vowed to never return.
What, with my brother's fiancee being robbed and nearly kidnapped, myself getting scammed at the train station, the $3 oranges and $7 bottles Evian available, I was very leery about even setting foot in the country again.
My Russian friend, St. Peter Voychinsky, an up and coming real estate mogul from St. Petersburg (named after him, or so he claims) continually teases me about my apprehensions to Russia, so I relayed to him the following the experience that I had during a layover at the Moscow airport on my way to Prague. He might call it anti-Russian propaganda, I call it reality.

"A smile here is rarer than water in the desert, and rationed with greater caution.
Stepping foot in Moscow is a harrowing experience. If I were a Hollywood horror film producer, I would just shoot everyday life there, editing unneeded. Movie patrons would run screaming from the theaters just looking at the nasty scowls etched in Russian faces, their hearts beating quickly, trying to catch their breath. An elderly man might die of a heart attack right there in the cinema, and the live video feed of the incident would beam into Red Square and all the Ruskies would nod their head in a moment's satisfaction, and then go about their miserable way, drinking themselves into oblivion. I'm not saying they would smile at the old man's heart attack though, after all, smiling would be breaking the law."

Think I'm making this up? Here is a Russian/Siberian train station
to give you a sample of Russian faces

4 comments:

  1. Those series of unfortunate events sound like a nightmare. The airport should really step their security up.
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    ReplyDelete
  2. Really that bad? Will go with my sister this summer. Any advice?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weeeeelllll ... perhaps this is ever slightly exaggerated, but normally anywhere you go in a former communist country, they take A LOT of time to warm up to Western standards. The closer to the epi-center, the worse off it is.

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