Sunday, December 1, 2013

Panda Style In China- Seeing them Live!

Bamboo- its what's for dinner
Project Panda

We too were happy, for we were done with that infernal boat ride. And the day got even better, cause next stop --- the zoo!
The zoo met all of me and Drew’s requirements for straight up perfection, a ten out of ten, the best zoo ever.
1)   it had tigers we could see up close
2)   PANDAS!!!

I had never seen a Panda in person. Pandas are fascinating animals with three entirely different speed settings.
1) sleep
2) eat
3) eat while sleeping

In fairness, the zoo’s young cub was more energetic. He had climbed a tree, and faced with the dilemma of finding a supportive branch that would lend to his descent, calling on his entire accumulated knowledge and wits, and this is why you want a panda around to help you next you are faced with a stressful decision, he fell asleep. (on some very shaky branches.)
Why do people spend literally tens of millions of dollars on panda upkeep and procreation, when panda’s themselves, could frankly, care less?
Take a zoologist who places a young male panda, call him Ginseng, into the habitat of a  female in heat.
Zoologist: “Go to her Ginseng. Go to her.”
Ginseng:   “Man, you aren’t a panda, cause if you were you’d know that is one ugly panda bitch. I wouldn't touch her with an elephant’s dick.”
Zoologist: “Ginseng, the survival of your species depends on you mating with her. Don’t you want insure—
Ginseng:   **SNOOOOORRREEEEE**

If it weren’t for the Panda Sperm Bank ($5 per ATM withdrawal for non pandas) the species would be done for. So why do humans continually pay $5 ATM fees, that amount to millions a year? Pandas are cute! Looks matter, end of story.

Panda video, stuck in tree!

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